Emo mood this evening.
Today marks the full year of the end of a very long term, dysfunctional relationship. It's not something i usually think about anymore (actually I have discarded and blocked anything I've dealt with that's been negative in the past year), because that was a really dark time. But, he brought it alllllll flooding back to me by sending me a photo of his family and his new girlfriend, by their Christmas tree. Low blow, honey. Low blow.
Part of me thinks, whatever. The other part thinks, that's supposed to be me.
But either way. It happened the way it did for a reason and I'm all the better for it. I learned valuable lessons.
I move out in a week. Have barely packed anything. Scared to death about money and living on my own.
I start at USC on the 10th. My class schedule is all mornings, i'm done by 12:30 everyday. I declared my double major. Scared to death of the big school where i barely know anyone. A friend of mine from Lowes will be in one of my MWF classes, because he is the same major as me. He's promised me he'd sit with me.....makes it a little less scary.
I'm stuck in a weird transistion. Finally getting out on my own, but I still really feel like a little kid sometimes.
I'm intimidated by the young man i'm talking too. He's gorgeous and very wealthy. I don't understand why he's talking to me at all. I'm average in every way. I guess that's why i don't trust him.....no guy like that even bothers with a girl like me. I can't even get an average guy to stick around, much less someone like that. So it scares me.
I'm just in a bad mood.
And he did tell me that he loved me------and he was such a liar. ("You never, ever, ever did, baby----But, darlin'.....I'd still catch a grenade for ya")
Grenade- Bruno Mars.
